Top 10 Reasons for Divorce
Infidelity (cause of 1/3rd of US divorces – adultery in 50% of all failed marriages).
Mt 5:32; Mt 19:9; Ro 7:2,3
THE TOP 10 REASONS FOR DIVORCE
Communication Breakdown
Ps 19:14 Words pleasing to God. Pr 8:6-8 Speak only what is right and true; Pr 15:1 Gentle answers; Ep 4:15 Truth in love; Ep 4:29 Build others up; Ep 5:4 No obscenity. Also, Ja 1:19 Quick to listen; 2Ti 2:23-24 No quarreling, foolish/stupid arguments. Pr 12:25 Kind words; Pr 25:11 Word aptly spoken;
Where both spouses lack communication and problem solving skills, thus an inability to deal with the conflicts that arise in their marriage. They do not handle their differences in a godly manner, both speech and actions, and strive not to resolve the problem they face together but to place the blame on the other person.
Physical, Psychological, or Emotional Abuse
He 4:16 Prayer 2Co 12:9-10 Strength in Him.
Where either spouse is frequently abusive towards children or each other, the other spouse has clear grounds for divorce. Physical abuse includes violence, fighting, manhandling, and physical bullying of an individual. Psychological and emotional abuse can be as seemingly innocuous as verbal insults, and can range to taunting, humiliation, intimidation, and consistent negative reinforcement. Php 2:3-4 Consider other better and self
Financial Issues
Mt 6:24 Love God or Money; He 13:5 Be content with what you have.
One of the most common reasons for divorce is economic strain or collapse of the family. Every couple has to deal with money at some stage, and when there is not enough to go around, differences in temperament and priorities are brought to a head. Even if there is no debt incurred, disagreements over the allocation of money and resources within the marriage and the home can often be enough to end an already irritated relationship.
Sexual Incompatibility
1Co 7:4,5 Your body is not your own.
Biological research has shown that the average strength of the sex drive in men and women is most similar throughout life for couples aged about ten years apart. However, the majority of couples marry only a few years apart, and as such, once the couple approaches their 30s, the trend is for the strength of their respective sex drives to fall out of synchronization. If there are already marked differences of sexual taste and preferences, or any other problems in the bedroom, this incompatibility is further exacerbated.
Boredom (opposites attract – then repel)
Want to be fixed by the other person; Take no responsibility for self – expects the other to change. Biologically speaking, humans’ preference is to pair for about seven years before changing mates. While well matched couples will, naturally, stay together for much longer than this, and possibly for life, most do not. Some couples will eventually grow distant, disinterested, and eventually bored with each other. Such divorces are often the least bitter of all, and often end amiably enough.
Religious and Cultural Strains
2Co 6:14 We are not to be unequally yoked.
Couples of mixed ethnicity, religion, or from significantly different cultures may find themselves being pressured by the expectations of their spouse, or their spouse’s culture to conform to the ideals of the other. This may include resentment at having to observe the dietary taboos of a culture, or more seriously, disputes over the spiritual development of any children. Most parents prefer that their children be the same religion as themselves, which immediately creates tension even in relatively happy multicultural marriages.
Child Rearing
Ps 127:3 …children a reward from Him; Pr 22:16 train a child up in the way that he should go… Pr 13:24 …spare the rod; Pr 19:18 discipline to spare his life; Ep 6:1-4
Serious disputes over the appropriate upbringing of a child are often enough to provoke an application for a petition of divorce by a parent. Cases of neglect and abuse are especially pertinent here, however, simple disagreements over which choice of school to send the child, or incompetence in dealing with inappropriate behavior from children is also a common reason for divorce.
Addiction
1Co 6:12 Not mastered by anything cp 1Co 3:16; 6:19 Temple of God/Holy Spirit. An addiction is an acquired compulsion to repeatedly engage in an activity, to the point that it negatively affects other priorities. Addiction is therefore not a phenomenon limited to drugs alone. Ep 5:18 Do not get drunk (cp 1Co 6:9-12 soul lost); Pr 31:6 …beer for the perishing.
Anything you do compulsively that negatively impacts your life or that of a loved one, interfering with your responsibilities and obligations, and especially when such actions have the potential to bring harm to either spouse, their children or others in the family, can be described as an addiction. This might include a job, hobby, food, alcohol, drugs, sports, gambling etc., and a host of other activities.
UNREASLISTIC EXPECTATIONS OR CHANGE
Ga 5:20 Do nothing out of selfish ambition (Ja 3:16); Ro 12:3 Do not think more highly of yourself than you ought – it’s not all about you!
Where the unrealistic expectations of either spouse affect the marriage, because they do not meet each other’s needs as originally anticipated. It is felt that the other person is supposed to “fix me” or “complete me,” after marriage they want the other person to “be just like them.” When both resist changing it creates conflict, emotional separation and ultimately divorce. Unplanned changes like a death in the family, a move, the loss of a job or an illness are also factors. Lacking the problem solving and communication skills to deal with it, the marriage breaks down.
